"Will you still need me, Will you still feed me, When I'm 64"

"Will you still need me, Will you still feed me, When I'm 64" as queried by The Beatles in their song "When I'm 64".  The lyric goes on with "When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now.  Will you still be sending me a Valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine?"  This song popped into my head earlier and I began thinking how the spirit of the lyric relates to real life many times.  What started all this pondering was a song I posted about on my Facebook page this morning.  Rascal Flatt's "I Won't Let Go" was the song.  It was my first time hearing it and I posted the following comments:  Heard this song a minute ago for the first time and it immediately made me think of what being married is all about. When you hit the for better or worse, in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer parts of the marriage journey that's ...when love is proved. It's hard to travel through those parts, but those make you stronger, draw you closer, and seal you with everlasting bonds. Flowers, gifts and romantic gestures are nice things to get, but it's the standing by and hanging in when I'm unlovable, when sickness or tragedy strikes, when fortunes fail, and when the devil is trying to give us a beat down that love shines through. How do I know this? Because we've lived it and came out on the other side together as one. Each day is a commitment to be there and to love each other - warts & all. How did/do we do it? Only through the power & presence of the Lord in our lives and hearts and His everlasting love for us giving us an everlasting love for each other. Are we perfect? No way! But thankfully, our Lord and Savior is. [end of FB post]  It's a beautiful song and you can check it out on YouTube if you'd like to hear it or on my FB page is you are one of my FB friends.

We've become a society, for the most part, that holds to the idea of if it's broke why fix it, I can just go out and get another one.  Oh, the luster and shine is gone, should I try to make it sparkle like new again?  Nope, just get a new shiny one or one that still looks good not so much wear and tear.  Etc...  We throw away things, including relationships, that become unattractive, no fun, a little worse for wear or broken, unpleasant to deal with, and on and on.  Why?  Because we judge our relationships by the world's standards and not by God's.  We focus on the external, the pleasurable, the self-gratification side of relationships.  When you are riding in the bumper cars of life and they begin to knock your relationship around, whether through sickness, money troubles, dealing with the kids, you just don't look that good to me anymore, you just don't excite me anymore, emotional upheavals, the who are you and why did I marry you days, etc., you begin to focus on the bumps and bruises, the scratches and dings and become dissatisfied.  Many times that's when we begin looking over at the greener grass on the other side of the fence or checking out new models that appear to be perfect.  Trust me, sometimes there are some big ol' flaws and problems hiding inside those snazzy chassises.  And there are some dandelions growing in the greener grass when you take a closer look.  I love the TV show "American Pickers" because Mike and Frank find the beauty and specialness of beat up, rusty, old things, and the item's history and they just get so excited about it when they get to purchase items.  Why can't we be that way with the people in our lives?  Look beyond the imperfections life brings and be excited you have that person in your life and the history you have together.

True, for generations girls have been taught to look for that knight in shining armor up on the big white horse to rescue us and make us pampered princesses who live happily ever after.  So we women have put some unrealistic expectations upon the men we come across in our lives.  They are imperfect creatures just as we are, ladies.  And the fellas have been brainwashed and stimulated to think that all women should look like supermodels ... for eternity.  Fortunately, there are women and men out there that believe and live otherwise to these unrealistic, unattainable distortions of real people.  But the topic of the differences between women and men could go on forever (like this post seems to be doing!). 

So what is the point of this rambling post?  It's this... Relationships, epecially marriages, are wonderful things that need to be tended like you do a garden or a vineyard with loving care, fighting and pulling the weeds, protecting the plants and vines, nurturing them, watering them, not giving up when all seems lost.  I've seen stories about vineyards and forests that have seemingly been destroyed by fire only to find life in the roots of the vines and forest plants and trees.  Yes, marriage can be challenging.  Yes, we get older, lose our hair, get pudgy, get sick or hurt, get cranky sometimes.  Yes, we hit hard times financially, emotionally, spiritually.  But we perservere, we fight the fires, we look for the life in the roots and we nourish it and strengthen it back to full bloom.  Can we do it alone?  I don't think so.  In my experience, it has taken much prayer, reliance on the power and grace of the Lord, remember that He forgave us and we in turn forgive others, and that He loves us - warts and all - like no other can and enables us to love others back in the same way.

I highly recommend the movies "Fireproof" and "Courageous" for a look at the struggles and triumphs that come in relationships.  And for you single ladies and gents, I think it is especially important to watch movies like this, read reliable relationship materials by godly, Christian authors, and be in prayer about the relationships the Lord would bring into your lives.  I know how hard it is to wait for that someone special in your life.  I've been there. I was single until I was 34 and had given the idea of a relationship with someone up to the Lord.  I knew He would fill that longing for a husband I had inside me if I was to remain single.  I've now been on both sides of the relationship fence.  The Lord's best for you is always better than you can imagine even when the bumps come.  Don't settle for second or third best.  If you are already in a relationship, especially a marriage, don't give up when the weeds begin to sprout or the vineyard begins to look unkept, fight - perservere - forgive - love as the Lord loves you.

Perservere > to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly; to bolster, sustain, or uphold.

Remember.... It maybe old, but it's a classic!!